Saved!
by Passions-fan
Summary: 2 strangers arrive in Harmony from ‘Watchville’ to change the scheme of things in Harmony. Special guest star from another (popular) TV show in newest chapter plus upcoming chapters!!! Kaguel.
1. Chapter 1

Legal mumbo jumbo: I don't own any of the characters from 'Passions', bla bla bla.  
  
Characters: mostly the characters of 'Passions', some of the CAST and ex- cast members of 'Passions', Melissa Doyle, Chris Reason, David Koch, Natalie Barr, Adam Digby, Rhea McKinlay, Amy Walters.  
  
Chapter 1  
  
"So this is it, Harmony, the home of 'Passions', finally!" declared Angie, who had recently arrived from Watchville with her best friend Rhea, across the portal that the United Soap Opera Viewers Who Are Getting Sick Of JER(k)'s Pathetic Attempts To Keep Passions Watchable Association had designed in conjunction with fellow Passions-bashing association, the Contempt for the Deplorable Sideshow that Passions Has Become Society. She and Rhea stared up at the 'Welcome to Harmony' sign. Then, they both took deep breaths, "Ready? Ok here we go" said Rhea as the two friends took their first step into Harmony.  
  
A brunette sat sobbing under a tree. "Ooh, that looks like our first case," said Rhea, "Should be interesting - it's Kay Bennet". They walked up to her, "Miguel trouble?" asked Amy. Kay looked up, shocked. "Who are you? And how do you know about my problems with Miguel?" "We're from Watchville and we're getting sick of you guys!" replied Amy. "Oh! I get it. Well, maybe you guys can help us. That James E Reilly's trapped us here using the all- powerful Contract spell and now I'm not allowed to do anything except mourn for Miguel - it's so.so harrowing! And frustrating -we're all giving up on the show too. The other day Lindsay suggested her character Theresa commit suicide and in a 'Passions' first - get this. NEVER come back to life again! JER(k) then waved the Contract spell in her face again and shut her up" Kay burst out. "Never fear! Team Passions Reform is here!" said Amy, "We'll get this place back to sanity in no time! Come on, let's go. We've got lots of work to do. This is going to be so much fun!"  
  
[Cut to Watchville, Amy's house, where her & Rhea's friends are anxiously hanging onto each and every action of their brave friends, who they still couldn't believe had actually dared to go into the hell-hole that was Harmony, risking their sanity for the sake of rescuing the town from death by boredom]:  
  
"Oh! Look! They met Kay!" exclaimed Theo, as she and her friends watched Channel Seven's special coverage of Amy and Rhea's exploits in Harmony on its morning show, 'Sunrise', hosted by Melissa Doyle and Chris Reason. They were able to bring live coverage courtesy of the hidden camera in the robotic fly that followed Rhea and Amy around everywhere. "And it appears that two of our bravest viewers have finally caught up with troubled teen Kay Bennet, who is now being led back to the garage that has now become her new bedroom since her cousin, little miss Porcelain Fruitcake, I mean Charity Standish, has decided that Kay's other ill-fated bedroom should play host to her newest Science project, which has not yet been revealed - it lies hidden under a sheet" came Chris Reason's voice over the television speakers, "we will now cross live to where Rhea McKinlay and Amy Walters are offering Kay an anti-depressant, good morning to you Rhea and Amy, so what are the plans for your next move?" Rhea and Amy appeared on the television screen, "Good morning Chris, Mel, we're just waiting for Mr "I can't wait to take my shirt off" and Miss "I'm so perfect, I make the word 'perfect' sound flawed" to come back from their "Oh Charity! Oh Miguel!" afternoon in the park" said Rhea. "And what advice have you given Kay so far?" asked Melissa. "We told her to write her own script from now on and give Miguel, Charity, 'Bratface' i.e. Jessica and Grace the shock of their lives!" Amy told her and their viewers. "Sounds exciting!" said Melissa. "We're looking forward to see what happens" added Chris, "thanks for talking to us this morning and remember, you promised us the first interview as soon as you guys get back, we're holding you to that!" "No problem, Chris. Talk to you guys later" "goodbye!" said Chris.  
  
[Cut back to Harmony, Kay's garage, where Miguel and Charity have just arrived from their afternoon out. Rhea and Amy have hidden themselves.]:  
  
"Kay, are you in there?" Kay heard Miguel call. Kay went into the house via the adjoining door to the garage, "What is it, Miguel?" "Charity's tired and hot. I was wondering if you could get her a drink from the fridge" said Miguel. "Sure, of course I will, Miguel" said Kay, already opening the drink bottle. She left the open bottle on the counter. She got Charity the drink, but didn't give it her, "Actually, I was pretty thirsty myself. I think I'll have this drink and Charity, maybe you can do something for yourself BY yourself for once." "Kay, that's not fair. Charity is a nice sweet girl whom everybody loves. Is it so much to ask that you merely get her a drink? You're supposed to be nice to her. Everybody in Harmony has to be nice to her." Miguel told her. "Oh Kay, it's okay. I'll only drink 4 or 5 glasses. You can have the rest if there's any left" offered Charity. "See Kay? I told you she was sweet. She's sacrificing her thirst for you" said Miguel. "Alright" said Kay, "you can have the drink". She poured the glass- full over the top of Charity's head. "Kay! What are you doing!" cried Miguel. "No! Stop! Miguel! Don't go near her! She's EVIL! Evil I tell you! I just had a prediction. Great pain and suffering are coming to Harmony and Kay's the one who's bringing it here!" "Oh, shut up, Molly!" said Kay. "Kay, what's going on with you? Why are you acting so strangely?" a shocked Miguel asked her, "Don't you care about your own cousin? Don't you care about me?" He looked over at Charity, as if waiting for her to say something, but Molly Stanton merely stood there with her mouth open, having forgotten all her lines. "Oh, let me tell you exactly how much I care about YOU! In fact, let me SHOW you!" Kay bellowed. She picked up the drink bottle that she had left open on the counter and poured its ice-cold contents all over Miguel's head. Then she gave him a good hard slap right across his face and ran out. "Deanna! What do you think you're doing? Reiley will KILL you!" Jesse shouted after her. "No, he won't" said an unfamiliar voice. "This is OUR show now" said another, equally unfamiliar voice. "Wh-who are you guys?" asked Molly, her voice shaky, staring at the two pretty young women who stood before her and her co-star.  
  
Well, what did you guys think? PLEASE review. This is my first venture into the world of fan fiction so please go easy on me! 


	2. Chapter 2

[NOTE TO READERS, ESP DEANNA WRIGHT FANS : Sorrrrrrrrrrry, but I'm giving Deanna a miss here. I thought I'd warn you guys that SOMEBODY ELSE is walking off with Miguel/Jesse in this chapter (it's NOT Charity). I promise it'll be Deanna either later in this story or next time, next story - I really am a Kaguel fan, though, so keep that in mind!  
  
Characters: mostly the characters of 'Passions', some of the CAST and ex- cast members of 'Passions', Melissa Doyle, Chris Reason, David Koch, Natalie Barr, Adam Digby, (FOR NON-AUSTRALIANS: these guys are Australian TV Personalities), Rhea McKinlay, Amy Walters. (Rhea and Amy are FICTITIOUS though).  
  
Chapter 2  
  
"We're Rhea and Amy from Watchville" said Rhea. "And we're here to give 'Passions' a makeover!" "And we're starting with the Kay-Miguel-Charity triangle. Since Charity's going to be gone from the show by the time we're done, Molly, since you were doing such a good job of playing Miss Syrup, we suggest you audition for the new Barbie movie they're going to make - you'll be perfect for the part!" added Amy. All the while, Jesse and Molly have been staring at them wide-eyed, "But how are you guys going to handle Reiley?" asked Miguel. "Just leave that up to us" Rhea assured him, "Now, here are your new scripts: ACTION!"  
  
Jesse and Molly reassume their positions near the kitchen counter and once more, become Miguel and Charity. "I'm so sorry Charity. I don't know what's gotten into Kay," said Miguel. "Oh Miguel! It was HORRIBLE! I could feel the evil all over me. It's going to kill us all!" shrieked Charity. "Charity, what are you talking about? It was just a glass of cold drink!" "It was EVIL Miguel. Evil, I tell you - eeeeeeeeeeeevil!" "What was evil Charity? And why are you both so wet?" came Grace's voice as she stepped into the kitchen. Charity blurted out the whole incident with Kay. "WHAT? Kay did WHAT? This is too much! First she - er - first she - er - never mind! I'm disowning her right now! I'm going to leave the Bed-n-Breakfast to you in my will, Charity, along with the secret ingredient for my Tomato Soup Cake!" said Grace. [Charity made a gagging motion at the mention of the tomato soup cake].  
  
Sam Bennet was on his way over to the kitchen to see what all the commotion was about when he was suddenly pulled back into the living room. He didn't have much time to gasp in surprise as two young women he'd never seen before frantically whispered some instructions to him. He grinned and gave them a thumbs-up before he went into the kitchen.  
  
"Grace, what's going on here?" asked Sam. "Sam, do you have ANY idea what that evil monster Kay did to our poor daughter Charity?" said Grace, in an overly melodramatic tone. Sam rolled his eyes, "What? She finally told Charity to get a life?" Grace's eyes widened to the size of her tomato soup cakes, "Sam! How could you - " began Grace. "Since when did Charity become our daughter?" Sam demanded. "Sam, Kay just dumped a glass-full of Evil Juice all over Charity's delicate little head and all you can think about is the fact that she's not your daughter? Just because she's my niece? I always knew you didn't care about me or my family or poor Faith -" "Oh shut up Grace! Damn right I don't care about you or your family you sook! Take your precious Barbie doll and get the hell out of my house! Ivy's moving in tomorrow," said Sam. Grace began to howl, "You'll see, Sam! You'll be so sorry, when you wake up in the morning and you feel like tomato soup cake and then you'll come crawling - " "Oh, that reminds me," said Sam, "I've got something for you". He walked over to the fridge, picked up a huge tomato soup cake and dumped it over Grace's head, "Enjoy!" He ran off to the Crane mansion, feeling proud, anxious to share a laugh about this with Ivy.  
  
Miguel had doubled up on the floor, laughing his head off. Charity was pulling at his sleeve, "Miguel! How could you?! You're laughing at me and my poor Aunt Grace! I thought you LOVED me! Miguel, why are you doing this, Miguel stop it, Miguel, Miguel, Miguel, Miguel!" she whined, "Fine, laugh then! Now I'll NEVER wear a short skirt in front of you ever again! And from now on, we only kiss ONCE per year instead of twice like we normally do!" Miguel looked up at her, "Charity that's the BEST news yet! What next - I never have to see you again?" "MIGUEL!!!!!" Charity began to weep and wail, "It's not working Miguel! I know you still love me, stop pretending!" Miguel laughed harder, "I'm going to do you a favour though" said Charity, "I'm going to let you date me if you promise to tell me I'm beautiful every two minutes now instead of every five like you used to!" Somebody appeared behind Charity, holding a little plastic angel like the ones that were put at the top of Christmas trees, "Don't worry Miguel! I'll save you!" said a familiar voice that they hadn't heard in a long time. The person conked Charity over the head with the little angel. Charity dropped down dead. Miguel gaped at the person whose face had been concealed by Charity's head until now & was finally revealed when Charity sank to the floor, "I don't believe this!" exclaimed Miguel.  
  
"Taylor Anne Mountz!" Grace mumbled, through gobs of tomato soup cake which were running down her whole face by now, "Eeeeeargh!" she thought, as she tasted some of the cake for the first time, "This is foul! I'm GLAD I made my family eat it! Serves Sam and the others right!" To Taylor she said, "Kay the First! I'm SO glad you're back! I always liked you better than the second Kay. You'll help me won't you? I heard you graduated with a PHD - you must be earning LOTS right now! Sam's kicking me out and I need a place to stay. I can't stay in the Bed-n-Breakfast because it's below my standards - I made sure of that, I mean all the toilets leak and the place is infested with rats! I especially had them imported from a foreign country!"  
  
[heheh - I couldn't resist sticking Taylor in, some of you may be disappointed but I'm more of a Taylor fan than Deanna, especially since Taylor only recently disappeared from Aussie screens]  
  
"No chance MOM, or should I say Ex-Mom? You treated me like crap too! Poor Second Kay! I hate to think what you must have done to her - serves you right that you're finally getting some payback!" said First Kay.  
  
"Kaaaaaaaaaay! I missed you so muuuuuuuuuch!" said Miguel, "The other Kay always seemed sick of everything - well, not that I can blame her, but at least you put up with all this crap with a bit of enthusiasm. Did those two girls we met earlier send you here?" First Kay said, "Yes, they did. And don't bad-mouth Deanna - if I had to stick around here that long, I'd turn robotic too! Luckily though, I don't have to stick round. You coming?" "You bet! FINALLY! After eons of being with that plastic doll, I finally get to be with a REAL woman!" said Miguel, excitedly, "Remember when we had to do that scene during the fire at the Standish house, where you came into my bedroom wearing that sexy blue number when I was hoping that Charity and Faith would both burn down with their house, but alas it was not to be?" "Yeah, Luis and someone walked in - it was so long ago I hardly remember" she replied. "Well, I forgot to tell you when we finished shooting that scene that I thought you looked REALLY HOT - Charity could NEVER look like that no matter what she wore. I was cursing JER for not pairing me with you." Miguel finished. "Well, thanks for the compliment and everything, but we've got to hurry. Trouble's on the way - oh no! It's here already!" said First Kay. "Going somewhere?" said a voice that chilled Miguel to the bone. He turned, "Oh no! Zombie Charity!" he whimpered.  
  
[Ok, so it's becoming a little angsty here, but later chapters will focus more on the mocking part. PLEASE REVIEW!] 


	3. Chapter 3

"Muhahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!" the zombie cackled. Grace screamed, "Shut up woman!" said ZC (Zombie Charity), her eyes blazing a fiery red. Grace continued to screech in a high-pitched voice, "Alright here, I'll put you out of your misery" ZC zapped Grace with lightening and Grace dropped down dead.  
  
Miguel and First Kay were fleeing out the kitchen hurriedly. They were just about to reach the portal that Rhea and Amy had left open for them when Miguel grabbed First Kay's by the hand and stopped her, "Wait!" "Miguel, what is it?" "I have to do the hero thing here" replied Miguel, "I HAVE to take my shirt off! It's really important!" he said, quickly ripping off his shirt to display his muscles. He jumped into the portal before First Kay, then reached out to grab her from in there. "I'll help you Kay! I will never let go!" he said, melodramatically, "Miguel, you're - " "no Kay! Don't ask me to leave you! I won't" "But Miguel -" she was trying desperately to get in through the portal, but Miguel had wrapped his arms around her waist and kept pulling her in towards him, then pushing her back out, "Miguel!!!!!!" she cried, noticing that ZC was right behind them, hands raised out in front of her, ready to fire another lightening bolt. Miguel finally picked Kay up and pulled her in, just as ZC fired her shot. The lightening bolt refracted off the front of the portal and bounced right back at ZC, who ducked quickly. "I'm going to get you Miguel! You won't get away! I'm going to destroy all of Harmony!" "Oh no you won't!" came another familiar voice. It was Tabitha.  
  
Miguel and Kay realised that they were safe and protected in the portal and decided to stick around and watch the fireworks.  
  
"Harmony's mine!" asserted Tabitha, "You wish!" said ZC, "You've already stolen my boyfriend, the Frankenstein monster, from 2 centuries ago, my other boyfriend Count Dracula and the love of my life - the Incredible Hulk. I won't let you take Harmony too!" she continued, "you tramp!" "How DARE you call me a tramp!" Tabitha screamed at her angrily. ZC began to wail, "You wagged your pretty little butt in front of all my boyfriends like a slut and they fell for the act! You KNEW they were just using you". "Puh-lease! You're delusional!" said Tabitha, rolling her eyes, "they all asked me to MARRY them!" "They loved me!" argued the zombie, "They were only staying with you to try and steal your powers!" said Tabitha, "You b****!" yelled ZC, slapping Tabby. Tabitha punched ZC square in the face, causing her to fall to the ground. ZC grabbed Tabitha's ankle and pulled down to the floor. They started pulling at each other's hair. A huge cat- fight ensued.  
  
Miguel and First Kay were both doubled over laughing in the portal. "This is hilarious!" said First Kay, "Yeah, hilarious" said Miguel, not paying any attention to Tabitha and Charity anymore. He was ogling at Kay now, "Damnit! I don't have that effect on her anymore!" he thought, "I took my shirt off especially to show off my body, so that she would want me badly, but she's not even looking! Oh no! What if she doesn't love me anymore????? I know! It's that Reese isn't it? That little goody goody two shoes, thinks he can just waltz in here and take Kay away from me!" Miguel began to hatch a plan, "I have an idea! I know! I'll somehow get Kay into bed and get her PREGNANT! Then she'll have to do the right thing by me and stay with me! I'll get Kay and Reese will have nothing!" [sound familiar people???(in case it doesn't, I'll just tell you - these are the same lines that Kay has repeated gazillions of times before to Simone, except in this case, 'Miguel' has been replaced by' Kay' and 'Charity' with 'Reese'].  
  
Meanwhile, Tabitha and ZC have ALMOST killed each other.  
  
[PLEASE REVIEW and tell me who should I have killed? Zombie Charity or Tabitha? I want to kill at least one of them so I can give Harmony its much- needed face-lift. I'd like you to tell me which character to get rid of, so PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW!!!!] 


	4. Chapter 4

Characters: mostly the characters of 'Passions', some of the CAST and ex- cast members of 'Passions', Melissa Doyle, Chris Reason, David Koch, Natalie Barr, Adam Digby, (FOR NON-AUSTRALIANS: these guys are Australian TV Personalities), Rhea McKinlay, Amy Walters. (Rhea and Amy are FICTITIOUS though).  
  
[PLEASE NOTE: this chapter is fairly Gwen-centric. I will be returning to Kaguel shortly. I just thought I'd move on to some other Harmony residents for while. Also, don't worry Theresa fans, there ISN'T much Theresa-dissing (not TOOOO much...just a little...hehe sorry) cos I don't really hate Theresa, she's alright]  
  
Chapter 4  
  
Okay, later ZC.  
  
Good old Tabby does indeed get the better of bad old Zombie Charity and decimates her into oblivion. First Kay and Miguel clap for joy and give Tabitha a thumbs-up. Miguel gets back to cooking up his scheme to get Kay into bed so he can get her pregnant so that she would stay with him instead of waltzing off with Reese.  
  
Meanwhile...  
  
[Cut to a different part of town:  
  
At the Book Cafe, Antonio Lopez-Fitzgerald is moping for his precious 'Diana' over a cup of coffee and a Mills-&-Boon (no, he's not gay, he's just DESPARATELY in need of ideas), trying to figure out how to deal with the recent announcement by Luis that his Diana was in fact Luis's Sheridan. In walks Gwen and heads over to the counter to order her coffee, "Hey! Pssssst! Natalie!" she hears and looks around, puzzled. She sees two women close to her age - perhaps a couple of years younger - seated at a table nearest to the counter and right by the door. One of them gestures to her with her finger. Natalie Zea points to herself questioningly and the woman nods. She walks over. Both girls whisper frantically to her. Gwen nods, beginning to grin. She sits down at their table to wait for her next scene.]  
  
"Hey handsome!" Antonio heard somebody say. "Hey! That's not in the script!" thought Christopher Douglas, confused. When he looked up, he completely forgot the rest of the script and all the scenes he had to do that day, "Umm.. who are you?" he asked the beautiful brunette who stood there with a clipboard, a pen and a flirty grin on her face, "I'm Amy and you're about to receive a personality make-over! Well, Antonio is, anyway. You just have to make sure the changes carry through. Here's your new script" she said, leaving him flabbergasted as she began to walk off. Then she stopped and turned "oh, and don't worry about Reily - he'll get over it. in a couple hundred years time!" Christopher looked over to the entrance of the Book Café, where he knew one of his co-stars, Natalie Zea would be arriving soon, if she hadn't already. He saw her at the table that Amy, the gorgeous brunette he'd just met was walking to. Another pretty girl was sitting there - a blonde. "Hmmmm.. There's definitely some strange stuff going on in Harmony today" he thought.  
  
"Gweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeennnnnnn!!!!!!!!!!!! Gweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnn!!!!!!!!! Theresa's died AGAIN!!!!!!! Heeeeeeeeeeeeelllllllllllllllllp!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" came the whining voice, "And I don't think she's coming back to life this time! Oh what oh what am I going to do?" The moans were coming from just outside the Book Café. "Here we go again," thought Natalie Zea, to herself, sighing deeply, "oh, well, here goes.. watch out Edumb - there's a new Gwen in town!"  
  
Amy and Rhea were long gone from the table. Natalie thought to herself, "I can do this. I can stand up for Gwen". Ethan entered and practically dropped onto his knees beside Gwen, "Gwen, please, I really need you! Promise me you'll be there for me!". Gwen rolled her eyes, "Let's go to the park near the grave where Theresa's been buried and we'll talk about this" said Gwen.  
  
[Eric Martsolf was slightly startled when Gwen rolled her eyes. He thought, "Ok, was that Gwen rolling her eyes or is the constant mockery of the character finally taking its toll on Natalie?]  
  
At the park, Gwen specifically chose for them to sit on the ledge jutting out from and running all round the large water fountain. There was a strange gleam in her eye that neither Ethan nor his alter ego Eric could figure out, "Ok, what is she up to?" Eric thought. He began to deliver his lines, "Oh Gwen, it's horrible! I don't know how I'm going to LIVE without her!!!!" "Then don't" said Gwen. Eric's jaw dropped, "I mean, you can just go bury yourself with her in her grave" suggested Gwen casually, "oh, wait! Maybe you can go ask Tabitha or Hecuba or someone to send you down to hell so you can salvage her wretched soul!" "Nat- I mean Gwen! Wha-? You're supposed to be comforting me! You're supposed to be my doormat! You're supposed to - to - " Eric didn't even know what he was saying anymore. He had forgotten all his lines, "Er- er - Gwen - you have to comfort me!" Gwen rolled her eyes, "okay, okay, alright, but I'm going to need some help from someone special," she said. "Someone special? Who?" demanded Ethan, Eric deciding to play along since nobody was yelling "cut!" or anything like that. "My secret lover" replied Gwen. Each of Ethan's eyes widened to the size of a football, "Why you - how DARE you!" Ethan grabbed Gwen by both her arms and shook her as he would have if Gwen had said her scripted lines like she was supposed to, which would have been something nasty or derogatory about Theresa, "Let go of her!" came a voice from behind Ethan. Two arms grabbed Ethan from behind and pulled him away from Gwen.  
  
The person who had grabbed Ethan spun him around and Ethan found himself facing Antonio Lopez-Fitzgerald, "Yes, that's right! I'M Gwen's secret lover! Oh, and to add insult to injury - I NEVER loved your precious former aunt Sheridan! I always knew who she was - I had seen her pictures in magazines and read about her being friends with the late Princess Diana! I was only using her for her name and her wealth! THAT'S why I was upset when I discovered she wouldn't marry me because she loved Luis. I've been secretly seeing Gwen for a long time now!" Ethan was dumbfounded. "Great! Now let's 'comfort' him" said Gwen. She and Antonio shoved Ethan straight into the fountain and walked off arm in arm.  
  
As soon as they rounded the corner where Amy and Rhea were waiting for them, Natalie Zea and Christopher Douglas burst out laughing, "Those were some of the best scenes our poor characters have ever had!" said Natalie, "I could hardly keep a straight face!" said Christopher. "Congratulations!" said Rhea, "You guys did well!" "Now, how would you guys like to see Ethan's amusing, upcoming plight?" asked Amy, "We'd love to!" said both Natalie and Christopher.  
  
  
  
[Well, I have quite a scenario planned for Ethan ahead. (it involves Theresa quite a bit!) PLEASE review! And ROBIN: Update your kaguel fic "Drama Queen" soon PLEEEEEEEEEASE!!! I'm anxious to read more!] 


	5. Chapter 5

Characters: mostly the characters of 'Passions', some of the CAST and ex- cast members of 'Passions', Melissa Doyle, Chris Reason, David Koch, Natalie Barr, Adam Digby, (FOR NON-AUSTRALIANS: these guys are Australian TV Personalities), Rhea McKinlay, Amy Walters. (Rhea and Amy are FICTITIOUS though).  
  
  
  
Chapter 5  
  
Miguel and First Kay came out of their sanctuary at the edge of the portal to congratulate Tabitha for annihilating Zombie Charity. In walked Jessica with Reese, Whitney, John, Chad and Simone. They all stared wide-eyed at First Kay. Then, assuming that they just hadn't been briefed about Taylor Anne Mountz returning to the show, continued on as normal....only they couldn't because they had all come to speak to Miguel and Charity about the Homecoming Dance and making them Homecoming Queen and King, but Charity was no where to be seen.  
  
[Since I'm Aussie, I don't know if you guys in the US still have Homecoming Dances, etc so please just excuse my getting some facts wrong.]  
  
Suddenly, Jessica began to shriek, "Charity's dead! There's her body - look!" she pointed to where real Charity's body lay sprawled face-down, a plastic Christmas-tree angel near her head, where First Kay had dropped it after conking Charity over the head with it. There was no blood. Jessica and Simone glared accusingly at First Kay. "Yes, I killed Little Miss Pasty- Face," said First Kay, boldly. Everyone was taken aback, excluding Tabitha and Miguel. "Miguel, aren't you going to do something?" demanded Jessica, "my vindictive b**** of a sister just killed your girlfriend, the love of your life!" Miguel grinned, "I know," he looked adoringly at First Kay, "she's such a brave girl - she risked her sanity to come back to Harmony and rescued me from that broken record of a plastic doll! Now that is true friendship." He put his arm around First Kay.  
  
[Bruce Michael Hall thought to himself, "oh no you don't! If the rules really have changed and Reily really has flipped, I'm gonna make my own ratings!]  
  
Miguel was surprised to see Reese suddenly throw off his glasses, mess up his hair and charge towards him, "Get your hands off my girl!!!" Reese roared. "Ross! What are you doing?" cried Tabitha. Reese immediately changed direction and lunged for Tabitha, "For the last time....it's REESE old woman! REESE!" Tabitha tackled him easily and sent him sprawling on his six-pack. Jade Harlow decided it was time Jessica got some action (even if it wasn't the kind she'd hoped for) and jumped at First Kay, "I HATE you Taylor Anne Mountz! I was secretly GAY and I LOVED Charity! I'm also ADOPTED so Charity wasn't really my cousin! Hang on a sec - I'm actually bisexual - I loved Reese too! But he never gave me a second glance because he loves you!" She began to pull First Kay's hair as Miguel tried to stop her. Simone and Whitney gasped as Chad rushed over to First Kay's defence, "Taylor Anne! I always had a HUGE crush on you! That's why I joined 'Passions', but you were GONE by the time I arrived! I set Donn Swaby up for sabotaging the sets of the show so he would get kicked out! I paid Lisa Hesser MILLIONS of dollars to get the role of Chad Harris!" cried Charles Divins. "You did what?" came another voice.  
  
"Donn Swaby!" cried Charles, as the first Chad pounced on the current Chad and began to beat the living daylights out of him. Simone and Whitney screamed, "Shut up you two annoying little prissies!" said First Chad, looking back at them. Then he turned back to Chad and gave him a kick, sending him to the floor, "That's for denying ME a chance with Taylor!" Simone and Whitney had heard enough, "Taylor's stealing our man - men!" said Whitney; "Yeah, we have to teach her a lesson," agreed Simone. They went over to help Jessica out in her cat-fight against First Kay. The two Chads stopped fighting and went over to help Kay. "Don't worry Kay, I'll help you!" said Tabitha, joining the fight, 'I will too!" said Reese, joining in. "Me too!" said another voice as Deanna Wright walked back in to join them. "Me three!" said somebody else as Lena Cardwell, the first Simone entered the picture to help out her first best friend, First Kay. Now everybody was all over each other in a huge group fight, as Miguel, Tabitha, the two Chads, First Simone, Reese and (Deanna's) Kay fought to save First Kay while Jessica, Whitney and Simone fought against them to HURT poor First Kay. John slowly made his way towards the back door..  
  
  
  
Well, any guesses as to who will emerge victorious? PLEASE review!!! 


	6. Chapter 6

Legal Mumbo Jumbo - I don't own any of the 'Passions' cast and characters or ex-cast members. Neither do I own Chris, Mel, Kochie, Nat or Adam or Channel Seven or 'Sunrise'. Rhea and Amy are fictitious.  
  
Characters: mostly the characters of 'Passions', some of the CAST and ex- cast members of 'Passions', Melissa Doyle, Chris Reason, David Koch, Natalie Barr, Adam Digby, (FOR NON-AUSTRALIANS: these guys are Australian TV Personalities), Rhea McKinlay, Amy Walters. (Rhea and Amy are FICTITIOUS though).  
  
  
  
Chapter 6  
  
"Alright STOP! Cut it out!" came Amy's voice, "While your outrageous behaviour does make for a much more interesting soap than the boring lines that you have to keep dragging out forever, we've got to maintain a sense of order here - you ARE being watched by millions you know" added Rhea. Everybody immediately disentangled from each other and quickly brushed themselves off and began smoothing back their hair. Most were red-faced. "Now, get ready for your next scenes. Antonio and Gwen are getting engaged. Save the big face-off with your rivals for their engagement party, okay? Now let's go raid the Crane mansion and bank account for money with which to dress you guys for the occasion" Rhea instructed.  
  
Miguel thought, "hmmmmmm....an engagement party...there's got to be alcohol there...I wonder if I could get Kay drunk? Then we could go off into a separate room and -" "Miguel!" He found that everybody else had left the kitchen while he was busy plotting, but Amy and Rhea had come back to fetch him, "oh, coming" he said, a wily grin on his face.  
  
[Meanwhile, Eric Martsolf was at the park near where his character Ethan had just been shoved into the fountain. He was going over his new script, feeling very bewildered. First, his co-star Natalie Zea changed all the lines of her character Gwen, then it turned out Gwen had been secretly seeing Antonio, who was the brother of Theresa, the Ethan character's love interest on the show. After Gwen walked off with Antonio, who had helped Gwen push Ethan into the fountain, two girls Eric had never seen before approached him, claiming that they were now in control of the show. Since the whole crew seemed to be going all along with it (and strangely enough to Eric, they all seemed to be enjoying the whole thing), he figured he might as well follow suit. Besides, the girls were cute. So off he went for his next scene:]  
  
Ethan arrived at Theresa's grave, "This is all your fault!" he screamed at the grave, "if you had just come back to life like you used to all those other times, I wouldn't have to look like such a loser in front of Gwen! I could have made HER feel like the reject yet again! How embarrassing! I mean she actually REFUSED to be by my side!!!" he pulled out a pair of scissors, "remember these? These are the exact same scissors you used to attack Gwen with! This is for leaving me looking like a fool!" he stabbed viciously at the dirt in front of the grave, "It's payback time Therebitcha! Oops! I mean Theresita. And this one is for - er- er- this one is for my being pushed into the fountain and ruining my favourite Abercrombie and Fitch jacket!" he stabbed at the grave again, "And to think I told you I loved you!" In an almost psychotic rage, Ethan began to repeatedly stab at the grave, not even looking up for an instant..until he heard his name being whispered, "Eeeethan". He looked up quickly, recognising the voice immediately, "Oh my gosh!" he gasped, "I don't believe it! It's you! It's really you!"  
  
Was it Theresa? Well, of course it was Theresa. The thick, dark, dripping black eyeliner weighing down those pretty lids almost to nose level was unmistakeable. Even in death, the huge gob of bright pink lipstick was slightly smeared above the lines of her lips, as perfectly as before she had died. As those ever-pouty lips slowly stretched into a crocodile of a smile, Ethan saw that there was just the slightest hint of lipstick on her teeth too. "Oh Ethan it's okay. I can understand your anger. You just couldn't stand to be away from me could you? It's no wonder you wanted to kill me for dying - even though I was already dead" she said, "I know Gwen ruined our plans for you to marry her and then ditch her after you get possession of all her money now seeing as how we're going to be needing a lot of it since you're no longer a Crane, but don't worry now we can both take on Gwen together - we'll EMBARRASS her in public big time! That'll be our ULTIMATE revenge!" "Oh Theresa, I'm so glad you're back!" said Ethan.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHRIS! (in case you're reading)  
  
Well, as Ethan and Theresa plan the havoc that they are going to wreak over the Hotchkiss empire, Kay & Miguel with all their friends prepare to raid the Crane mansion as Gwen and Antonio plan a lavish engagement party to which all of Harmony's remaining residents will be invited. PLEASE review!!! 


	7. Chapter 7

Legal Mumbo Jumbo - I don't own any of the 'Passions' cast and characters or ex-cast members. Neither do I own Chris, Mel, Kochie, Nat or Adam or Channel Seven or 'Sunrise'. Rhea and Amy are MINE!!!!  
  
Characters: mostly the characters of 'Passions', some of the CAST and ex- cast members of 'Passions', Melissa Doyle, Chris Reason, David Koch, Natalie Barr, Adam Digby, (FOR NON-AUSTRALIANS: these guys are Australian TV Personalities), Rhea McKinlay, Amy Walters. (Rhea and Amy are FICTITIOUS though).  
  
  
  
Chapter 7  
  
  
  
While Ethan and Theresa plot how to get even with Gwen and Antonio, the teens of Harmony and Tabitha arrived at the Crane mansion. "Dad, what are you doing here?" asked the two Kays simultaneously, as they saw Sam and Ivy sitting really close together in the room adjacent to the foyer, staring deeply into each other's eyes over a glass of champagne each. Ivy and Sam quickly jumped apart and stared wide-eyed at the party of young people gathered there together with Tabitha and two women Ivy had never seen before in her entire life (but Sam had, just a while ago). Amy and Rhea quickly introduced themselves to Ivy, who thanked them for making it possible for her & Sam to be together and finally putting millions of suffering viewers out of their misery. When she heard what they had planned though, she panicked, "But Rebecca will kill you! She's upstairs in MY ex- bedroom right now, deciding which one of MY ex-designer outfits to wear to her daughter and Antonio's party!" she warned them. Rhea and Amy looked gleeful, "this is going to be fun!" said Rhea, "come on teens, we have a vindictive old termite to eradicate!"  
  
"Hey - wha? What's going on?" shrieked Rebecca as Kay, First Kay, Jessica, the two Simones, Whitney and Tabitha pushed her out of the way and began scrabbling through the large wardrobe that was the size of their bathrooms back at home. "Who are you?" Rebecca demanded of Rhea and Amy, as her alter ego, Andrea Evans pondered over what exactly was going on and what on earth some of the ex-cast members were doing back on the show. "Never mind who we are, just know that we control the show now and if you don't want to be killed off the show, just follow the new script" said Rhea, handing the new script over for her to have a quick glance over. "Don't worry too much about memorising it, just go along with the whole thing," Amy instructed.  
  
Miguel, the two Chads and Reese had no problem picking out something from between what used to be Ethan's wardrobe and the as of yet absent Nicholas Foxworthy Crane, Julian and Ivy's son, who was abroad at the moment. The guys were dressed within minutes. The girls.well, you know what girls are like - there was no way they were coming for another five or six hours (hehe).  
  
A few hours later, First Kay stepped out and the personal Beauticians assigned to her admired their handiwork. (Each girl had her own set of Beauticians, and still Julian's credit card wasn't maxed out. Tabitha was even getting a make-over.) First Kay looked gorgeous in a stunning crème- gold Chanel creation, matched by Beverly Clark accessories and shoes by Manolo Blahnik.  
  
[and I'm not even sure if this is a guy or a girl, I just know Madonna loves this person's shoes, here's a quote from her, "Manolo Blahnik's shoes are as good as sex, but they last longer." Heehee.lol]  
  
Her luxurious dark tresses were piled elegantly on her head with a few curly tendrils softly brushed her cheek.  
  
The other Kay wore a beautiful, pale blue Viscardi [no, I'm NOT talking about an alcoholic drink] strapless with Vanessa Blaine shoes and accessories, "but - but - but I was gonna wear that one!" squealed Rebecca. The girls erupted into laughter, "What?!" Rebecca demanded, "and what would you have worn on the other half of your body?" asked Kay, which cracked them up even harder. Rebecca began to sniffle, "you girls are so mean!"  
  
Jessica and Simone both wore Richard de Chazal, First Simone wore a Belinda Giverecci [not sure how to spell it]. The stunner of the evening was Tabitha, who wore Rebecca's most prized Valentino, the one she had been eyeing since Ivy had first bought it, and which Rebecca had been saving to wear to Gwen's wedding. Rebecca lunged towards Tabitha's neck, "why you - !" she was immediately grabbed back by the other girls and some of the beauticians. Tabitha looked incredible for a 300 year old. Her hair had been straightened and was no longer a forest of huge curls around her face. There were no more huge bangles or other funny, chunky jewellery. The girls took a moment to gasp at the new-&-improved, chic-&-sophisticated Tabitha. Rebecca screamed at her, "you stay away from my pookie, Julian don't you DARE go near him looking like that, you understand me? I will KILL you!!!!" Tabitha blocked her ears, "did I just hear a mouse squeak?" she asked, innocently. She led the party out of Ivy's bedroom and returned a couple of minutes later. She stuck her head around the door and called to Rebecca, "oh Beeecky! Guess who's going to be my date for the paaaarty?" Rebecca once again leaped towards her, but Tabitha flung the door in her face and she collided with it and fell back, "Ouch! My nose!"  
  
"Whoa! Reese! Is that really you?" Kay exclaimed, when they met up with the guys downstairs, "you know, since Miguel is obviously so hooked on my counterpart here, do you think you would consider - ?" "I would even consider King Kong if he would rescue me from Jessica, but you're a much better substitute!" said Reese, immediately offering her his arm, "er,. thanks...I... think.." said Kay, taking his arm. Jessica shot them a death stare. As Tabitha waited for her date, Julian, to get dressed, Simone and Whitney played 'Scissors Paper Rock' to decide whether they were going to plot to get the first Chad or the second. Meanwhile, First Simone was two steps ahead of them as she spent time with the first Chad to comfort him on having to watch First Kay with Miguel.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
Meanwhile, at the Grand Royale Majestic Extravagant Ostentatious Flamboyant Lavish Classic Lounge, gazillions of guests had started gathering together for the Hotchkiss-Lopez-Fitzgerald engagement party. A really excited Gwen and Antonio and the even more excited security guards failed to notice two dark, shadowy figures sneak in and head off towards the public toilets.  
  
Finally, Kay and party arrived, and several minutes later, a sulky Rebecca arrived in tow. No way she as going to miss her own daughter's engagement, Viscardi or no Viscardi. Miguel was anxious to get to the champagne so he could quickly get First Kay drunk so that he could impregnate her so she couldn't walk off with Reese by the end of today's episode. He impatiently waited for the formal part to finish......  
  
As Antonio was about to slip an engagement ring on Gwen's finger, after making a mushy romantic speech about how much he loved her, they heard an all-too-familiar voice cry out, "waaaaaaaaiiiiiiiit!!!!"......  
  
To be continued....  
  
  
  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Well, who could that be? Revealed next chapter... meanwhile PLEASE review!!!!!! 


	8. Chapter 8

NB: My Gwen is still picturised on Natalie Zea, by the way even if it's been ages since she left the show.  
  
Gwen rolled her eyes at the voice that screeched out across the hall of the Grand Royale Majestic Extravagant Ostentatious Flamboyant Lavish Classic Lounge. "That girl can never stay dead for too long can she?" she said to Antonio. Antonio turned to glare at his sister, who had just entered the hall with Ethan in tow. "Really Theresa! Couldn't you at least spare my engagement?" he demanded. "Oh but I have a really special present for Gwen" said Theresa in a honey-coated voice. Antonio noticed that both of Theresa's hands were behind her back so that only the people standing behind her could see what she was holding (& those people were beginning to point and snigger).  
  
"Theresa - " began Antonio. Theresa grinned widely, "what is it brother dear? Why do you look so worried?" Antonio frowned. He didn't like the look of this but before he could do or say anything else, Theresa walked over, more people pointing and sniggering at the "present" she held behind her back, "It's time for me to give Gwen her present" said Theresa. The whole room was silent and tense now as Theresa swung the gift in front of her. Gwen gasped, "It's a - a - WHAT IS IT?"  
  
Theresa looked down at her present for the first time and her grin disappeared, "Oh NOOO!" Theresa's eyes widened and began to fill up with tears. A few little rivulets of mascara began to make their way down towards her flared nostrils, "My - [sniff sniff] - my surprise!!!" she wailed, turning on Ethan and pointing ferociously, "Ethan you and your stupid ideas! Why did you have to go and WRAP it??!!" she yelled at him. Ethan shrugged, "I thought you were meant to wrap presents", he looked bewildered, confused, about why Theresa was yelling at him. "You stupid egghead! I TOLD you what I was going to use this for! Now I have to rip it open in front of everyone and I'll lose the melodramatic effect I was aiming for!!!" she screamed, "in more ways than one" she muttered under her breath. She quickly began to rip the "present" open. The thick coat of wrapping paper refused to uncover what was underneath and people were beginning to snigger again as Theresa became more and more agitated. When she finally uncovered it, Gwen let out an even louder, more dramatic gasp than her first one, "It's a - a - aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!" she began screaming as Theresa proudly brandished a baseball bat in the air above her.  
  
A scared Gwen began to back off, "Quick Antonio! Rip your shirt off!"she instructed. "Wha - ?" Antonio looked a little flabbergasted.  
  
[Since at this stage in my story, Christopher Douglas is still kind of new to Passions, he was a little confused and it showed on his character. Natalie Zea frantically began to explain, "It's a Harmony by-law! The women of Harmony often become weak and helpless in a dangerous situation and need a shirtless Harmony hunk to come and rescue them! Remember - the SHIRTLESS part is VERY IMPORTANT!!! Even if James E Reilly isn't boss anymore!"  
  
Lindsay Korman and Eric Martsolf waited patiently, understanding the importance of the shirt-removing by-law and of ensuring that every character was aware of it. When they were satisfied that Christopher Douglas had understood precisely what was required of him, Lindsay delivered her next line as Theresa:]  
  
"It's payback time Gwen! Say hello to an old friend! Muhahahahahahaha!!!" Theresa swung the baseball bat back drastically and Gwen took off around the hall as the crowds gathered together began to part. Antonio quickly proceeded to take off his coat. Once he had it off, he flung it as far back as possible and then began to undo his tie. He had all the buttons on his shirt left to go.  
  
Miguel impatiently rolled his eyes as he watched the goings-on. How was he supposed to get First Kay pregnant if all the staff of the Lounge had stopped serving alcoholic drinks to watch the nonsense his sister and her rival were putting on? First Kay was too engrossed in what was going on to even so much as take a sip of the SOFT DRINK she already had in that tiny little glass! Miguel looked around for the bar and didn't see one, "Guys, do any of you see a bar around here somewhere?" he asked his friends. "Miguel! How could you forget?! We're shooting a soap opera here - what makes you think there's going to be an actual bar?! The drinks come from the kitchen off the set!" Whitney told him. Miguel sighed. Would his storyline EVER progress?  
  
Meanwhile, unobserved by Antonio who was busily opening the buttons on his shirt, Gwen had slipped on the coat he had flung back and she had fallen. A grinning Theresa now loomed over her, baseball bat raised. Gwen's fall had given her ample time to catch up. Gwen staggered to her feet, trying not to trip over her beige Chanel dress. She looked around frantically for something she could defend herself with. She couldn't see a thing. Theresa's grin widened as she watched her eternal prey slouch her shoulders in defeat. She swung the baseball bat and thrust it towards Gwen. Everyone closed their eyes as they heard the sickening thwack of wood colliding with what was probably flesh.... 


	9. Chapter 9

NB: Just a reminder - please note I started this story before any wedding was planned between Charity (who's dead in my fic now) and Miguel and before Reese and Jessica started secretly seeing each other so it's basically still Kay "pretending" to be with Reese and Miguel's alone since Charity's death.  
  
Theresa heard a loud gasp echo all around her. Everything was dark for a little while but soon Theresa began to see a sliver of light, just as something thick slithered down her cheeks. She wondered why she felt something heavy on her head and shook her head a little. And cried out as a huge gob of something fell all over her. The whole hall was silent. Theresa's vision was now blocked even more by whatever it was that was covering her from her head down to her shoulders. She began to frantically wipe it off her and as her vision became clearer, she realised what it was. Laughter slowly erupted around the hall. Gwen had shoved the huge cake that had been sitting waiting for her and Antonio to cut after Gwen had been given her ring all over Theresa. At the last minute, Gwen had discovered that this was the only defence "weapon" around.  
  
Theresa's eyes blazed furiously as she glared at everyone around the hall. She was not amused to see that Miguel and Antonio were both laughing at her. Ethan was looking clueless as usual, "Theresa, what are you doing? You are supposed to be getting Gwen, not eating cake!" Theresa walked over to him, dripping with cake, "I'll tell you who's eating cake you stupid ass!" She grabbed large blobs of cake off herself and shoved them into Ethan's face. More laughter from the guests. "Theresa!" Ethan exclaimed. He picked up a glass of champagne off somebody's table and dumped it all over Theresa. Theresa picked up the baseball bat that she had dropped when Gwen had dumped the cake over her and aimed it at Ethan. "This will be the last time I will ever run after you Ethan!" she cried as she chased him out of the hall.  
  
As the staff of the reception lounge busied themselves with cleaning up the mess that Gwen had made of the cake, the guests went back to their business as though nothing had ever happened. Antonio and Gwen were assured that another cake had been ordered and would arrive shortly. The couple decided to wait for the new cake before proceeding with getting a pretty, round, diamond studded occupant for Gwen's finger.  
  
"Kay, while we're waiting, do you wanna come for a ride with me?" Miguel asked First Kay, who, to Miguel's ultimate shock horror, was busily discussing the alignment of the planets in some solar system or other with Reese. "Maybe later" replied First Kay, without even looking at him.  
  
Miguel began to think quickly "Oh no! This isn't working! I have to come up with some kind of a brilliant scheme to get her away from that goody goody two shoes. There seems to be only one thing that can get together two people in a situation where one doesn't love the other if you're on a soap opera and that's a pregnancy! But how the heck - ? Wait a second! While Reilly was around, he was saying something about a storyline for Deanna's Kay that involved a potion or an essence or something that would make her look like Charity and then I would sleep with her and she would get pregnant! All I have to do is get a vial of some Reese Essence! Then First Kay'll sleep with me thinking I was Reese and then she'll get pregnant and then she'll HAVE to be with me!" He began to look around for those two girls who had taken over the production of Passions to ask them if they could do something about bringing in an Essence of Reese into the show.  
  
"Hey! Psssst! Miguel!" called someone whose voice Miguel rarely heard even though he was very closely linked to her, especially now that he had an "old-new" love interest. "What does the Invisible Girl want?" he wondered, as he turned to the girl to whom the voice belonged, "What is it Jessica?" he asked, "I know what - or who it is that you want and I think we can and should help each other" said his future sister-in-law (he hoped). "Oh?" Miguel was intrigued, "How so?" Jessica pointed towards the exit, "Let's go discuss this outside" she said.  
  
As Miguel and Jessica proceeded towards the exit together, First Kay and Reese turned to look at them, "Oh no Reese! I was so sure this whole making- Miguel-jealous thing was working!" First Kay said. Reese sighed, "So did I, but he seems to be moving on! Unless - " "Unless what?" Reese looked towards them again, "Unless MIGUEL'S trying the same trick on you!" he said. First Kay laughed, "Oh come on, this is Passions! Kay NEVER gets Miguel remember? No matter who's playing her!" "Hush! We're on camera!" she received a reminder from Reese's alter ego. "Never mind. We're all mixed up anyway. The viewers don't mind and we're still in the process of steering the storylines the right way" she replied. Reese thought of something just then, "Remember those two girls who took over the production?" he asked. "Yeah?" "Well, let's go have a chat with them and see if they can do anything about getting Kay and Miguel - I mean you and Miguel together" suggested Reese. "Alright" First Kay agreed, "It might be worth a shot". They went off to find Rhea and Amy.  
  
"The thing is," Jessica was saying to Miguel outside, "You want Kay and I want Reese. So why don't we pretend that WE'RE together? You know, so they think we've moved on and don't care about them anymore. It's bound to make them jealous!" Miguel thought about it. Aside from pregnancies, the jealousy thing was another trick that people often UNSUCCESSFULLY tried out on soap operas. But since the production of this particular soap opera was now being controlled by people who were in the business of watching and who had experienced years of harrowing torture by the same pathetic storylines repeated year after year, there was a chance that Miguel could create a revolution by turning over a storyline that seemed to be hemmed in concrete and probably would be if James E Reilly had not been overthrown. Jessica tapped her fingers impatiently on the balcony that overlooked a water feature and the gardens and benches bordering it, outlined in a pale wash of moonlight. "Well?" she finally asked, "we haven't gone to an ad-break you know?" Miguel snapped out of his thoughts and said, "Huh? Oh yeah, yeah, the preg - I mean the jealousy thing. But I think we should get those two new head writers to confirm that we'll get what we want otherwise I'm ditching this pathetic sideshow and joining One Life To Live!"  
  
Meanwhile, First Kay and Reese had already left the engagement party and were headed towards the temporary office near the NBC Studios backlot where Amy and Rhea had told them they could be found.  
  
"Well, according to reports, viewer popularity in Watchville has been higher than ever since the actors began to incorporate elements of their real-life frustrations into the show, so I guess it's safe to assume that this is the way to go with characters, storylines and the actors themselves" reported back Rhea, over the phone to a Channel Seven (Australia) executive. When she got off the phone with the executive, she and Amy viewed a live report online over her laptop by Channel Seven's finance advisor, David Koch, who happily advised Watchville that the television market was steadily climbing the corporate ladder thanks largely to the American NBC's currently hot and rising television show, Passions, which was now receiving much acclaim as almost the only soap opera whose storylines were beginning to actually progress from a setting in the early morning to afternoon within (GASP!) a week! This, though, was in reference to some of the earlier episodes that had just been screened after Rhea and Amy first taken over. Now they were starting to slow down again - they were still stuck on the evening of the engagement. A wedding was urgently needed. And not just any wedding, but a traditional, Passions-style double triple or quadruple wedding! Rhea and Amy decided it was time to quickly get some of the underdog couples together.  
  
While the two women were busily discussing the progress of the show and which couples were going to be married on the show, a loud screech cut into their conversation and they stepped out of the office to see Ethan running towards them with Theresa close behind, wielding the baseball bat. "Halt!" called Amy, "you're off camera, you can stop now" she instructed.  
  
Eric Martsolf and Lindsay Korman were given new scripts and left the office looking pleased. By this time, Taylor Anne Mountz and Bruce Michael Hall had arrived, unaware that Jesse Metcalfe and Jade Harlow were on their way over too. "I've got it!" said Rhea, "I have the perfect idea. Taylor and Bruce, you guys have a wedding to plan for your characters. Run along now" she told the bewildered actors, "But - " began Bruce, "No buts, not just yet - you'll find out later why I'm doing this". "Think of the fans who have been DYING to see what they call a 'KAGUEL' pairing on the show!" protested Taylor. "Oh, don't worry, the fans needs will be taken care of" assured Rhea. "Alright, whatever you say," said Taylor, as she and Bruce proceeded to the set of the engagement party.  
  
"No chance buddy! You're not getting her that easy. You have made Kay suffer for so long, you're going to have to pay some penance first!" Jesse was told as he and Jade pleaded their case before Rhea and Amy. "Ugh! Stuck in one triangular love storyline after another!" said Jesse as he miserably trotted back to the engagement party. "Ah, but we have something more interesting in the works for little Jessica" Rhea assured Jade and Jade too, went back to the party, ready to pick up where she left off as Jessica.  
  
Back at the party, Miguel found First Kay and Reese more and more engrossed in each other. He decided to cut in, "Kay can I talk to you for a second?" Kay looked at Reese, who nodded. "Sure Miguel," said Kay and they walked out together. "You and Reese seem to be getting tighter than ever" he said to her, "I thought he was here with the other Kay". "Oh he was," replied First Kay, "but she found this guy who was asking her if she knew where he could find Ethan or Ivy or Julian. Before they knew it, they were into a discussion about what a torture it was for her - I mean me - I mean us - KAY having Ethan as a half-brother. It turns out they have some common ground - he is none other than Ivy and Julian's son, Nicholas something or other - I was too busy with Reese to pay attention when she was introducing him to us". Miguel's face fell. If he could have somehow gotten Reese and the other Kay together, this Kay would've been free to be with him. "So um - you guys are going quite strong huh?" he said. "Well, of course we are. Reese is the most wonderful guy in the world and you are such a good buddy for supporting me in my relationship with him Miguel". First Kay almost couldn't suppress her smile at hearing herself reciting some of the very same words that used to hurt her so much coming from Miguel once as he used to speak about his relationship with Charity.  
  
Miguel went back to Jessica to report on his lack of progress with First Kay, "Ooooh that Reese! I feel like knocking him out and leaving him on the train tracks to be run over! Or maybe I ought to dump some fish guts on him!" he said.  
  
By the end of that night, when the formal part and dinner etc was over and the dancing was nearly over too, Reese proposed to First Kay over the microphone at the front of the hall where Gwen and Antonio did their ring thing and she accepted. Jessica had to run after Miguel to stop him jumping off the balcony as everyone clapped and cheered for First Kay and Reese.  
  
The following morning, the wedding plans began as the couple wanted to get hitched as soon as possible. Naturally, as anytime two couples got engaged simultaneously on Passions, a double wedding was immediately suggested. Gwen and Kay decided the planning of the wedding itself would give them enough time and opportunity to do some female bonding and Reese and Antonio began to rapidly get to know each other better as they spent more and more time together. Miguel spent some time with Second Simone and Jessica as they discovered that all three were kindred spirits at the moment, one of a kind, each the jilted end of a love triangle as Second Chad and Whitney had recently gotten back together. Miguel and Jessica were not accustomed to scheming and plotting and taking lessons from Simone.  
  
"Whatever happened to that annoyingly sickeningly sweet couple - Sheridan and Luis? Anyone know?" Amy asked some of the cast members as they arrived for that day's scenes. "They have been locked in Sheridan's cottage making love twenty four seven" Deanna Wright replied. Amy and Rhea laughed, "well there goes one couple. We had better not disturb them or Sheridan will start crying and believing that they are just not meant to be together. She'll think the fortune cookie was right and the love noodle test was accurate and have another break down!" said Amy. "But what about Beth?" asked Rhea. "We'll find something for her" said Amy, "so who else is getting married?" Rhea whispered something to her, "Oh, okay so it'll be a surprise for the rest of the cast then. Cool. Let's get going".  
  
A couple of weeks later, the wedding day had arrived. First Simone was First Kay's bridesmaid, and looked cute in a caramel coloured Chanel.  
  
[heheh that's my personal favourite brand ever since Nicole Kidman wore that pink Chanel to the Oscars]  
  
First Kay and Gwen wore traditional white Vera Wang wedding gowns, all at the expense of the Crane fortune which Rebecca now had control of since both Ivy and Julian couldn't care less about it anymore now that they had found true love, Ivy with Sam and Julian with Tabitha (lol I just find the idea of a "Tabian" (Tabitha and Julian) pairing interesting!). Gwen had unreservedly dished out a couple of Rebecca's new credit cards to Kay so that the expenses of both weddings could be covered.  
  
[Each time Alistair called to protest and vent his outrage at everything that was going on, Rebecca would put him on the speaker and leave the room or sit there and file her nails and sip champagne, or turn on the TV set she had placed there ever since Julian had disappeared with Tabitha to some romantic escapade from which he hadn't returned yet. The louder Alistair spoke, the louder Rebecca would turn up the TV. ]  
  
Since Miguel was angry with Reese (and Reese was pretending that for the life of him he couldn't figure out why), Reese asked First Chad to be his best man. Second Chad and Whitney were off "practising tennis" (in Whitney's bedroom) and Second Simone was off to support her "boyfriend" who supposedly loved her Simone so much that he wanted to help her sister out in any way he possibly could, (including giving her a private "workout" session so she could be fit for playing tennis).  
  
[Should I change my rating to PG 13? Lol]  
  
Gwen didn't have a bridesmaid since Sheridan and Luis were both still feeling insecure about each other and were busy "working on their relationship" in Sheridan's cottage. Antonio didn't really know anyone in Harmony except for his brothers and since both were unavailable (Miguel was at a bar, drinking) so he didn't have a best man either. Hank had mysteriously disappeared again as he so often does on the show so it wasn't even as if he could get his brother's best friend in for the job.  
  
Off the set, Natalie and Chris discussed the problem with Amy and Rhea. "Well, two still existing characters from Passions have been cast in a spin- off series being produced by somebody who hates James E Reilly in which they're doing everything almost exactly opposite to what was previously done on Passions. It's called "Harmony's Heartbreaks". We don't know who the characters are yet, but we'll send someone in to see if they can guest on Passions for a little while". Rhea told them.  
  
[I know "Harmony's Heartbreaks" sounds like a tacky name for a spin-off, but I couldn't come up with a better name, lol]  
  
Meanwhile, at the bar where Miguel was drinking, he was the only person left and the barman had retreated to the back to get more drinks out (or whatever else a barman can do at the back). The little angel girl appeared to Miguel, "I know what you're thinking Miguel," she said. "Huh? Who are you?" Miguel asked. The angel girl had a habit of not answering in a straightforward manner. She said, "You must not try to break up Kay and Reese" slowly, in a quiet voice, her expression dead serious, "If you do, you will bring evil into Harmony". Miguel laughed his head off, "Save it sister. I know what you're really on about. You don't really care if an oh- so-"schweet' couple like Kay and Reese break up. You're just programmed to spout off the same garbage each time like a parrot!" he told her. The angel girl's eyes widened, "No Miguel, you don't understand. Charity was right. Great pain and suffering are coming to Harmony," she said. Miguel rolled his eyes and lowered his head into his hands, "not this again!" he thought.  
  
"Don't worry Miguel, I'll save you," came an evil-sounding voice. "Hecuba!" said Miguel looking up, "what did they bring YOU back for?" he asked. The angel girl disappeared saying, "Remember what I told you Miguel." Hecuba said to Miguel, "I can help you get Kay".  
  
"Are you going to freeze Reese in a block of ice?"  
  
"Very funny Romeo. Now, just do as I tell you" Hecuba instructed.  
  
Meanwhile, the wedding ceremony was about to begin. The church had filled up and Father Lonigan, the two grooms and the one best man stood waiting at the altar. Everyone was silent. Suddenly, a voice cut across the church and its silence loudly, "Hey! What are you doing! Let me go!" A group of unknown, unseen strangers brought a familiar looking young man dressed in an expensive-looking tux into the church, "what's going on?" he demanded. First Chad recognised the man, "Yo! Whassup my man?!" he called out. Father Lonigan gasped, "I don't believe it!" Reese blinked once then said, "Travis Schuldt!"  
  
[Yup, this fic is actually a dedication to ex-cast members in the guise of a fanfic for the show!]  
  
The bewildered looking First Ethan said again, "WHAT is going on? I was about to get married myself!" Rhea appeared on the scene, "well now you have to be a best man first. See the thing is, Antonio is in fact not just Theresa's brother, but your old pal Brian O'Leary from that bar that you used to go to with Gwen sometimes during semester break from whatever college you were going to" she told him. He still looked confused. "He was in disguise then, but not in a good enough disguise that you couldn't have recognised him, it's just that he knew all about your IQ level and realised he wouldn't need much to keep his secret from you. As for Gwen, well she knew him, but didn't tell you and what's more, she cheated on you with him the way you kind of did for a little while with his sister on Gwen before you told Gwen. And now look! They're getting married!" she explained. "Aren't you happy for them? Now that you don't like Gwen anymore, you should be happy your "friend" Brian-Antonio has found true love" said Amy, also popping up onto the set. "Uh - okay, whatever" said First Ethan, still looking confused. Rhea and Amy laughed, "I knew things would be okay once we managed to confuse him" said Rhea, as they walked off the set.  
  
[NOTE: The double wedding episode hasn't aired in Australia yet, so I don't how they did it on the show, that is whether Theresa and Sheridan walked down the aisle together or separately but I'm gonna have to make First Kay and Gwen do it separately for the purpose of the little not-so-surprising surprises in store]  
  
As First Kay and First Simone appeared at the entrance (Sam had taken some time off from Ivy just long enough to walk his daughter down and give her to Reese and Ivy had agreed to wait patiently with the guests and smile encouragingly at First Kay), First Simone whispered to her best friend, "where's Miguel? Isn't he supposed to be here in time to stop the wedding?" First Kay said, "if he doesn't arrive, it's his loss!" She was counting on him to show up, though, "if another one of Kay's schemes blow up, I'm ditching this pathetic sideshow and joining All My Children!" thought Taylor Anne Mountz.  
  
When Gwen appeared, ready to walk down, everybody turned to see who the bridesmaid was. And groaned. Because it was yes - another ex-resident of Harmony. And none other than Liza Huber, the first Gwen.  
  
"Gwen! What are you doing here?" said First Ethan, "you're supposed to be on Harmony's Heartbreaks getting married to me!"  
  
"I could ask you the same thing," said First Gwen to first Ethan, "how the heck am I supposed to marry you if you're here?" But she was dressed in a wedding gown, just as Ethan was dressed in a tux.  
  
"Alright guys, cut the bickering, you can get back to your own wedding scene as soon as you finish with this one" said Rhea, coming back on the sets. "You can just be Muffy, Buffy, Silly, Dopey or whatever for the moment - you know, one of Gwen's sorority sisters" she told First Gwen, "but this wedding gown won't do. We can't have two Gwens, both in a Vera Wang each or else the audience will get even more confused than ever if that's possible!" she said. "And while we're getting you changed, we might as well get First Ethan out of that tux". So the wedding scene was halted for a little while and First Kay sighed in relief, realising that this would give Miguel more time to arrive at the church to stop the wedding.  
  
"So what do I have to do for you in return?" Miguel asked Hecuba after she had told him her plan. Hecuba just smiled an evil smile and remained silent... 


	10. Chapter 10

Back at the church, Gwen and Antonio were spouting off sickly sweet wedding vows to each other. First Gwen was back, dressed in a pale pink Chanel (kind of like Nicole Kidman's lol), posing as Muffy, Gwen's sorority sister. First Ethan was now in a normal suit and next to Antonio as his best man.  
  
First Kay and Reese were waiting extremely patiently, hoping Miguel would just pop up. "I can't believe we're waiting for our own wedding to get called off!" First Kay said to Reese, "Oh, I don't have a problem marrying you - you're the one doing lover-boy Miguel a favour by trying to provoke him to carry you off in the middle of the ceremony in front of all these people. Personally I reckon it'd be more fun if you just embarrassed him instead!" Reese told her. "Reese!" First Kay scolded him, "hey, what are you planning to do once Miguel admits in front of everyone that he loves me and wants to marry me? Are you gonna pretend to be angry with him and attack him and get him into a dog-fight? Ooh boy wouldn't that be fun! You guys always get to see cat-fights on a soap opera cos it's usually women fighting over men, but we hardly ever get to see two men battling it out for one girl" she added. "Well, whatever happens I just hope I don't get stuck with Jessica!" said Reese. "I wish Miguel would hurry up! Our turn is coming up soon!" said First Kay.  
  
Miguel was still wondering about Hecuba's true intentions. She was always up to something evil and Miguel wondered what she was going to demand as payback for helping him get First Kay. He hoped she wasn't going to trap his soul in a vial. "Oh you'll see," she said, mysteriously when he asked her what he was to do for her in return. "So what are we going to do?" Miguel asked Hecuba. "Well, first we have to visit one of your friends" Hecuba told him, leading him out of the bar.  
  
[When the bar people saw Miguel talking to himself - or so it looked to them when he was talking to both the little angel girl and Hecuba - they just assumed he was a loony or one of those Harmony residents to whom weird things were always happening and turned back to their own businesses.]  
  
"Alright, what's keeping Miguel? Don't tell me he isn't going to come?! That just can't be! Every time a couple attempts to get married in Harmony, if there is a third wheel to the relationship there is no way that third wheel doesn't appear to try and stop the wedding! That would be breaking another one of Harmony's by-laws!" said First Kay. She was really starting to get frustrated because it had been a really long break when they had stopped to get First Gwen/Muffy and First Ethan changed for their new (and temporary) roles. They had switched to Tabitha and Julian in Bermuda, enjoying their romantic escapade together first.  
  
Then they'd moved on to Sheridan and Luis discussing which of the ways to say "I love you" they had missed, "We had better cover them all while we're still in bed - then we'll have to go practice all of them all over again in the spa and then there's the beach and then all of those other places in Harmony, Bermuda, Paris - oh my gosh we're going to be so busy!" Sheridan was saying, as Beth sat under the window. She was supposed to be glaring in at them and plotting how to get Luis, but she was so BORED that she thought filing her nails instead would probably be more worth her time. Besides, she didn't want to fertilise the flower beds there with her vomit or end up in the emergency room at the Harmony hospital from being too sick of watching them going at it.  
  
Then they crossed to Theresa and Ethan, who were on the wharf, staring out at the water, trying to figure out how to get their hands on the Crane fortune. "I've already done my share - pretending to be drunk in Bermuda and giving Julian the night of his life so he'd reinstate you as heir. Now it's your turn!" Theresa commanded Ethan. "Oh - uh - okay," he rubbed his hands, thinking about Rebecca's generous bust, "if you say so - but I've never been with an older woman before and - " "Ethan!" Theresa's voice interrupted his fantasies, "Wha-? Didn't you mean I have to seduce Rebecca?" puzzle boxes and questions marks popped up above Ethan's head. "No, I most certainly did not! You just have to break Gwen's heart again. She's going to be next in line for the Crane fortune now that it's all signed over to Rebecca. Gwen's a sucker for your "love". She's pretending like she can stand up for herself now, but it's all temporary. She'll crack under minimal persuasion from you. So go on and seduce Gwen!" Ethan still looked clueless, "But Theresa, I don't understand. I thought you loved me and wanted me back for yourself! If I go and seduce Gwen, you'll be angry with me again and I really don't want to see that baseball bat again!" he protested. Theresa snapped. She gathered all her strength together, picked Ethan up and threw him over the wharf, into the water.  
  
In the mean time, while all this was going on, First Ethan and First Gwen had, instead of changing, gone back to "Harmony's Heartbreaks", the fastest flying soap on air - each day went by within at least three days, which was a record for soaps and its officials were therefore among the wealthiest people at the studios and could afford equipment to film episodes at supersonic speed, allowing the actors to actually repeat their dialogues only about twice a week instead of everyday for several weeks. The two characters had finished filming their wedding sequences by the time Passions was ready to return to its own double wedding scenes.  
  
More scenes of Tabitha and Julian were aired. Beth brought over a digital foot spa and stood in it as she shot peas at Sheridan (then ducked to hide) using a slingshot each time Sheridan told Luis she loved him. Within minutes, there were enough peas to fill about five large jars to the brim, but the two of them didn't even look up once. "Yech!" thought Beth. Meanwhile, a frustrated Theresa considered getting a sex-change so she could seduce Gwen herself. Then she came up with an idea. She would go to Kay (she was completely unaware that the First Kay had returned and was about to marry Reese in a double wedding ceremony with Gwen and Antonio and that Miguel was in love with her). Theresa would get Kay to steal Antonio from Gwen so that Gwen would be lonely once more. Then she would get her good friend Fox to seduce Gwen and get both the Crane and the Hotchkiss millions off of her. Fox was definitely a hell of a lot more intelligent than Ethan at least. In return, Theresa would promise Kay that she would help her get Miguel and convince Kay that she had a lot of influence over her younger brother, who always turned to her for "romance-advice".  
  
Finally, Passions was back to the double wedding scenes and First Kay and Reese were now being asked the eternal question by Father Lonigan. Their fates were about to be sealed. Not wanting to make the audience too suspicious just yet, Reese answered "yes" to taking First Kay as his wife, loving, honouring and cherishing her in sickness and in health for as long as they both shall live, etc, etc. When it was Kay's turn to answer, she scanned the hall full of guests one last time. Then she began to speak, "Y - "  
  
"STOP!! Stop the wedding!" naturally, in typical soap opera fashion, Miguel's unmistakeable voice sounded across the church, guests gasped, heads turned, Father Lonigan called out, "who is that?" and First Kay gaped, pretending to be utterly shocked, but really feeling like doing a cartwheel. Even more shocking to everyone than seeing Miguel was seeing who was at his side.  
  
"That is NOT the real Kay!" cried Miguel. This time First Kay really did receive a major shock. For she saw herself standing next to Miguel. "What the HECK is going on?" she demanded, "Reese, you have to believe me! That isn't me! I'M me!" she said. Reese believed her. He turned to Miguel and the girl next to her and said "I know, but I wonder what Miguel is up to? And who could that be?" When he turned back to his almost-wife, she wasn't there anymore. Everyone gasped again. For First Kay had disappeared from Reese's side and in her place stood Jessica, dressed - or rather UN-dressed like she had just stepped out of a strip-club.  
  
"Yes, that's right. It's me, Jessica. I have always loved Reese as most of you probably know by now. So I made a deal with Hecuba - now there's no need to pretend you guys don't believe in witches or whatever. We all know she's real - she's been around to almost every Harmony resident by now, offering to make secret desires come true in exchange for souls and things. Why I'd be surprised if most of you here today aren't without souls! So anyway, Hecuba transformed me to look like Kay so I could ensnare Reese and trapped the real Kay in her lair. Miguel loves Kay so he went and rescued her and brought her back and that's caused me to change back into my true form!" Jessica explained to everyone, "And yes, I have secretly been working for a strip-club - you didn't really think I was shy, quiet and sweet now did you? It's always the invisible ones that lead the most exciting lives!" she said.  
  
Antonio whispered to Gwen, "thank God we got married before this mess began!" She gave him a strange look, "you're not really Ethan in disguise or something are you? Although knowing how dumb he is he probably - " "GWEN!" said Antonio, "hehe sorry, just checking" said Gwen.  
  
Sam nearly had a heart attack right there and then. A worried Ivy tried to calm him down. The audience finally broke out into babble. "Quiet everyone!" yelled Father Lonigan, "A great evil has just taken place and we need to stay calm". "Wha - ?" Reese was a little puzzled at first, then realised that it was one of those scenes where Father Lonigan had only to repeat one of his robotic dialogues and had nothing particularly meaningful to say.  
  
Reese knew that the woman standing next to him in a wedding gown a while ago had not really been Jessica in disguise and that Jessica had really only just materialized beside him. He realised that both Jessica and Miguel were lying that the girl next to Miguel wasn't really First Kay at all. "So - uh - now that you've brought the "real" Kay back to us, Miguel, I guess we could just continue the wedding ceremony, right? I still don't love Jessica and still want to marry Kay" Reese said. "Oh but that's the beauty of it," said Jessica, "you still can't get married today". "Why-ever not?" asked Reese. "Why don't you ask First Kay herself?" said Jessica, smirking. Reese turned to the girl next to Miguel, "Well Kay?" he asked. "Um, well you see Reese, I don't wanna like hurt your feelings or anything but I actually reciprocate Miguel's feelings for me. So I can't marry you" the girl replied. "Oh, I get it. At least I think I get it" said Reese. Something Jessica had said about making a deal with Hecuba the witch had struck him and he thought he had Miguel's plan figured out. "Oh no. If that's true then Miguel, you are SOOO stupid! All you had to do was come here, tell First Kay you loved her, be publicly humiliated by her a little and then you would have gotten your girl!" thought Reese, realising that his and First Kay's little prank had backfired.  
  
"You know Kay, I just want you to be happy and I'm glad you were honest with me," said Reese, an idea forming in his head, "but I don't see why there still can't be a wedding here today" he said. "Oh Reese!" Jessica flung her arms around his neck, "I knew it! I knew you'd soon realise we were mean to be toge - " "Jessica! What are you talking about? I was referring to First Kay and Miguel!" said Reese, quickly throwing her arms off him and stepping away, to where Miguel and "First Kay" stood. "Well buddy, we're in a church, there's a priest here, guests, your mother and oldest brother. What say you and Kay get married right here right now?" said Reese. Miguel looked terribly uncomfortable, "uh - I think I should call Luis, Theresa, Hank, the other Ethan first. That'll take too much time. The guests will get annoyed and - " "We'll just send the guests to eat while you make the phone calls," said Reese. "Oh it's not necessary for us to get married right now,' Miguel protested, "Luis was saying that he's now very close to finding Papa. I would like to get married when he is found - then he can be at the wedding" he said. "He's right" agreed the girl posing as First Kay. "Miguel, I don't understand. It sounds almost as though you're making excuses not to get married today!" said Reese. "Reese!" Miguel whispered, "Alright, I'll explain it all to you once we're out of here!" Reese agreed to talk later.  
  
Some time later, Gwen and Antonio rode out to an expensive reception lounge on a chariot drawn by cute white horses (borrowed from the set of Harmony's Heartbreaks - the same one that had been used for First Gwen and First Ethan's wedding - after all, Passions was only just starting its climb further up the corporate ladder) where a lavish party had been organised for them by Rebecca.  
  
Towards the end of the reception, when Gwen and Antonio were getting themselves into the chariot drawn by white horses and getting ready to take off, Theresa arrived, hoping to find Fox there. He was there, coincidentally with the other person she wanted to see - Kay Bennet (the third Kay, that is Deanna Wright's Kay). She pulled them aside to talk.  
  
As soon as Gwen and Antonio rode off in the chariot, Reese, Miguel, Jessica and the girl Jessica had claimed was the real First Kay made their way to the kitchen of the reception lounge, where they were explaining to Reese what was really going on, "Yes, Reese, you are right. She isn't really Kay," Miguel told Reese. Reese looked at the girl who looked just like First Kay, who waved her hands around in the air and disappeared. In her place stood Hecuba, whom Reese recognised from somewhere along the teens' previous dealings with evil. "Miguel are you crazy? You enlisted HER help?!" Reese exclaimed. Hecuba smirked, "yes, that's how much he loves Kay," she said, an extremely evil smile playing on her lips, "YOU on the other hand have too much of a problem with witches, eh Rice?" she said. "It's ROSS!! ROSS!! What is it with you witches and my name?" said an aggravated Reese. Miguel laughed, "It's what, REESE?" he asked. Reese blushed, "See what you guys are doing to me? So anyway, where's the real Kay?" he asked. "She's at my home right now. Let's go get her" said Miguel. He and Reese got up, "NOT SO FAST!" said Hecuba, "I've helped you enough. Now it's your turn to pay up!" She waved her hands and Miguel found himself and Reese in slightly familiar looking surroundings. Not only that, but he saw First Kay next to him, still in her wedding dress. The three of them were tied to a thick pole, with a cauldron bubbling away beneath them, giving off the foulest kind of stench. They were facing Hecuba's magic mirror. Jessica was there too, but she was standing next to Hecuba, grinning evilly at them.  
  
"Jessica, what do you think you're doing? Miguel asked her. Reese rolled his eyes, "what did you expect of her? You didn't really think she was being a good friend, helping you out and all now did you?" he said. "I did! That little traitor!" said Miguel. "Well, it wasn't as if I was going to get Reese!" said Jessica. "What do you think you're going to achieve by this?" Miguel asked her. "This IS my achievement," said Jessica, smugly, "I sold my soul to Hecuba in return for her getting me my revenge on you guys!" she told them, happily. "Revenge? What are you talking about?" asked Miguel, while First Kay and Reese rolled their eyes. "Well, as you all know, I've always liked Reese, but he only has eyes for my sister dearest. Besides the fact that Kay has everything I ever wanted - she's the pretty, popular one and she's outgoing, so she could be involved in all kinds of school activities whereas I've always been shy and stupid! I haven't got any friends of my own - my few "friends" are all borrowed from Kay! I'm the "invisible girl" - I've heard people calling me that! Why do you think I always supported Charity and tried to make life hell for Kay? Why do you think I always revelled in her heartache whenever Miguel and Charity looked tighter than ever and it looked even more impossible for her to be with Miguel? My suddenly falling for Reese while he was in love with HER was the last straw!" Jessica explained.  
  
Hecuba sat down on her rocking chair in front of the magic mirror, "And now you are all going to be my slaves!" she proclaimed with glee. "Never!" said Miguel. "In your dreams, Hecuba!" said Reese. First Kay was busy thinking out a plan of escape. "Well, you'll have no choice!" said Hecuba, "If you refuse to obey me, I'll throw you into the fires of hell! You are trapped here and I can hurt you with one of my electrifying zaps!" First Kay was thinking about her lineage and how all Standish women had powers. She was trying to figure out how to tap into them. She had once heard Charity babble on about how her powers were sometimes unleashed when she was in some kind of danger, but she just hadn't known how to control them and then she used to faint and then not remember anything. She said her powers were stronger if it happened to be a full moon. "What a pity there isn't a full moon today," thought First Kay.  
  
"Three days from now, I will be able to cast a spell to turn you into zombies! I'll be able to snatch your souls without your consent!" Hecuba told them, gleefully. "Uh, why do you have to wait till the full moon?" Jessica asked, "why not right now?" Hecuba's eyes shone with delight, "the spell will be stronger than. Whenever witches are doing a spell to gain something, the best time to do it is during the waxing moon and the night of full moon is obviously when the spell will be at its strongest" she explained. Kay smiled to herself. Hecuba turned towards her magic mirror, "Now let's see what the rest of the pitiful residents of Harmony are up to. Let's see how we can cause some misery for them" she said. Jessica smiled and sat down on the chair opposite Hecuba's and turned her attention to Hecuba's mirror.  
  
They saw the guests at the reception centre, where Gwen and Antonio's reception had just taken place. Some guests were starting to leave. The two bridesmaids were dancing with the two best men. Other people on the dance floor included Second Chad and Whitney, Sam and Ivy and some of Gwen and Antonio's best friends. Simone and Deanna's Kay were standing off to the side with Fox and Theresa. Theresa was busily explaining something to Fox, something that Kay was much more interested in than Simone's babble about Chad being the best boyfriend she ever had, "can you believe it Kay? He's being so sweet to me, dancing with my sister so she doesn't feel left out or lonely! And I didn't even have to ask him to. Isn't he just such a darling?" she rambled on and on in the same manner. "Yeah yeah whatever" Kay would reply, without looking at her.  
  
Theresa was telling Fox about her plan to win back the fortune that was rightfully hers, that Rebecca had tricked Julian into signing over to her. "I don't care if Gwen gets hurt in the process, she's caused me enough distress for me not to feel bad about a little payback" Theresa was saying. Fox was quite happy to oblige - anything for his "stepmommy". Kay decided to help Theresa just because of their friendship since Miguel was now with the other Kay anyway. "So what did you do with Ethan anyway?" she asked Theresa. A devilish smile appeared on Theresa's face, "you wanna take a wild guess?" she said, remembering how she had thrown him into the water.  
  
Two fishermen found Ethan trying to stay afloat, "Hey, isn't that the former heir of Crane industries?" one of them asked the other, "yes it is!" said the other. They rushed forward to help him out. When Ethan saw them, he started calling out to them, "Help! Help!" They threw in a life belt to him, "WHAT is THIS?" demanded Ethan, "I scream for help and you throw this funny looking thing in to me?" The two fishermen looked at each other and shrugged, "It's a life belt" they told him. "Well it must be faulty because it's NOT saving my life!" Ethan yelled at them. They rolled their eyes and went out in a little boat to get him, "isn't he supposed to be a law graduate from one of those flash colleges for rich snobs?" one of the fishermen asked the other, who replied, "well, I've heard they were paid to pass him and let him graduate". The fisherman who had asked the question said, "so that explains it!" They sniggered while Ethan sat in their boat, looking confused, "Are you guys talking about me?" he asked, looking annoyed.  
  
Beth called Sheridan's cottage on her cell phone. An annoyed Luis picked up, "who the hell is this?" he demanded, "we were just about to reach a simultaneous multiple orgasm!" Outside the window, Beth rolled her eyes, "This is Marie from Kama Sutra For Beginners" she said. "who from the what for who?" asked Luis, perking up. Beth repeated her previous line. "We're an institution that teaches people all the different exciting ways to express passion. Our special passion tracking devices just picked up the strongest signals being transmitted from your residence so we thought we'd offer you a special discount if you shared some of your secrets on a spicy sex life with some of our clients" said Beth. "Well, that sounds very interesting," said Luis. "Well, when do you want to come over?" asked Beth. "Well, I'm afraid there's a slight problem," said Luis. "What's that?" asked Beth. "We can't control our addiction to sex - we can't put a hold on it. We couldn't even do it when my brother and his girlfriend and best friend were trapped in hell, we couldn't stop when Sheridan's brother-like nephew found out he had just lost his identity because his father wasn't the man he had been raised by all the years of his life, and - " "And you won't be able to stop even if one of you dies!" Beth said. "Yeah probably" said Luis. Beth hung up, shaking her head... 


	11. Chapter 11

SPECIAL GUEST STAR FROM ANOTHER TV SHOW IN THE NEXT COUPLE OF CHAPTERS!!!  
  
Meanwhile, back at the lodge, people had started noticing that Jessica, Miguel, "First Kay" and Reese were all missing. The other people stopped their regular schemings and plottings temporarily to start looking for the missing teens. The detective Frank Lomax [hehe I bet you all forgot him, didn't you? Told you this fic was a dedication to old cast members!] had been called in to investigate. Ethan had arrived at the hall and was screaming, "Somebody help! Somebody help!" Ivy spotted him and asked him, " Ethan, my baby - what's wrong? Did you have a dream about the boogie monster again?" Ethan rolled his eyes, "Mother - for the MILLIONTH time, it's not the boogie monster, it's the monster in the sand-box!" Ivy began, "Ethan - " "Yes, I know what you're going to say mother," he said, "You do?" said Ivy, widening her eyes, surprised that Ethan had psychic powers, "You were going to tell me that the sand monster only gets mean, horrible people, like Julian and Theresa and Alistair. I know I know, but that's not what I was screaming about," Ethan told her. "So then what WERE you screaming about?" Ivy asked him, becoming a little impatient. She wanted to go and help Sam look for the kids. "Well, don't you know mother, somebody got lost!" said Ethan. Ivy sighed, "yes dear," she turned her attention back to the search party that had started gathering.  
  
The call came almost as soon as Antonio and Gwen had arrived at the Crane mansion. Antonio was told about the missing teens. He and Gwen hurried to get changed out of their wedding clothes and rush all the way back to the hall, this time in Rebecca's car.  
  
Meanwhile, at Julian and Tabitha's getaway in Bermuda, Alistair called Julian, "That floosy of yours with the over-sized melons is giving away a fortune in resources to her own worst enemy - Theresa to help find her brother because he also happens to be the brother of Antonio, Rebecca's new son-in-law! Not that you would know what was going on back there - you're too busy playing pirate with a Crane hater!" Alistair spat across the phone. "I'll get on to it right away, Father," Julian said, annoyed that he had to go save the money he was no longer interested in. He and Tabitha rushed to board the jet back to Harmony.  
  
Beth had finally managed to get Luis and Sheridan out of the cottage by calling Luis up and telling him that Miguel was missing.  
  
Meanwhile back in her underground lair, Hecuba rubbed her hands in glee, "oh it's such a joy to see so much chaos in Harmony tonight!" she said.  
  
Antonio thanked Rebecca for her contribution towards the search for Miguel, Kay, Jessica and Reese.  
  
[A/N: I think I failed to mention that once First Kay had killed Charity, Tabitha had gotten all her powers back - which was how she had managed to defeat Zombie Charity (ZC) when they had battled together in my earlier chapters, so I'm just mentioning it now - Tabby has her powers back!]  
  
Several hours later, Tabitha and Julian arrived back in Harmony. Tabitha claimed she suspected everything was Hecuba's doing. She also sensed that somebody had made a deal with Hecuba and sold their soul to her. "Well, if an evil witch is responsible for the kids disappearing then I don't see why Antonio is going to need all that financial assistance from Rebecca in the search," said Julian, "Not that I care a dime about the money - Father's the one obsessed about it".  
  
Everybody had gathered around Tabitha. By now, the residents of Harmony knew that it was wiser to trust in supernatural happenings rather than anything that seemed even remotely rational. "Who is it Tabitha? Who has sold their soul?" Theresa was asking. Tabitha asked them all to come over to her cottage where she would have a look in one of her crystal balls.  
  
As a large chunk of Harmony residents and ex-Harmony residents gathered at Tabby's place and Tabitha began looking around for her crystal ball, her doorbell rang. She went to answer the door and the people of Harmony saw an unfamiliar young woman with bright red hair step in and scan the whole crowd with a sneer.  
  
"Oh hello Paige, has everything been alright for you so far dear?" Tabitha asked her. "Yes, Aunt Tabby. Everything's been great" the woman replied. "Who are you?" demanded Rebecca, looking the woman up and down. The woman scowled, obviously not appreciating Rebecca's bossy attitude. Tabitha stepped in, "Uh- this is my niece, Paige Halliwell from San Francisco. She's a witch too, along with her two sisters - Piper and Phoebe.  
  
[SURPRISE!!!]  
  
They're very powerful". She told them. "Oh," Rebecca stepped back, a little in fear, a little in repulsion. Paige smirked. She sensed that the similarities between herself and this extremely busty woman were not just restricted to their red hair. The Harmony residents greeted Paige as warmly as they could considering the situation at hand. They were in turn fixed by Paige's scornful gaze and received an ice-cold response from her, "I know all about you lot," she scoffed, "Excuse me, I have some REAL problems to deal with" she said, heading off towards the kitchen, adding, "like my stomach - I'm STARVED!"  
  
[hehe sorry, feeling particularly mean towards the Harmony bunch today]  
  
Please review!!! 


End file.
